NOVEMBER 7: JUSTICE DAY

Whether you're Ted Haggart, Saddam Hussein, or George W. Bush, you are not on the ballot tomorrow. But justice will be served just the same.

By his own estimation, Mr. Haggart, the ex-evangelical pastor and White House liaison, has led a wretched life of adultery, meth amphetamines and sodomy -- all the while lying about it in order to maintain his opposition to gay marriage. How many Haggerts must Believers see trotted before them before they start to worry about their Judgment?

Ted would like to remind you that he didn't enjoy the meth.

Mr. Hussein, for his part, wiped out an entire village (because of an assassination attempt emanating from there), gassed the Kurds, and killed untold thousands of his own people without trial. Not the son of George and Barbara Bush, Saddam grew up in a wretched culture learning wretched methods for governance. Saddam is sentenced to die a nice, well-deserved death.

Saddam would like to remind you before he is hung that he did NOT have anything to do with 9/11, did NOT have any WMD, and that he had been truthful in this regard, unlike our last scoundrel.

And that last scoundrel, of course, is the son of George and Barbara, our very own George W. Bush. Jesus, where do we begin with this entitled fellow? No one has time to go through the list of his misdeeds, so let's not bother. Suffice it to say he did just about everything wrong a man can do in 6 short years.

George was a very naughty person in a very promising country. After losing the popular vote, he went on a rampage unlike anything Americans had seen before. For the sake of brevity, let's just say he exploited a national tragedy, sullied America's reputation, weakened the U.S. Constitution, and trashed the Bill of Rights -- all while transferring wealth to the wealthy, dismantling international treaties, and mistakenly killing perhaps a half million people.

There's other stuff (like bankrupting Americans for generations to come, and awarding billions of dollars to his cronies), but let's not be picayune.

George would like to remind you he took out Saddam -- if not 9/11 architect, Osama -- just before watching in amazement as Iraq descended into chaos and civil war.

History will duly record the truth about Ted, Saddam, and George. The vote tomorrow, historic in itself, will record the disdain Americans have over being lied too by their leaders and their so-called free press. No amount of witchcraft by Karl Rove, no amount of money from corporate lobbyists, no amount of back-peddling from the press, no amount of rigged Diebold voting machines will be sufficient to contain the enmity Americans feel towards their leader and his accomplices.

It's party-time tomorrow. When we hold up our blue fingers, it will be the beginning of the end of GW Bush's reign of terror.