ANNA AND HER TWO HOWARDS
Anyone wanting to leave this planet early has three great options. If you're black, walk into an Arian Nations meeting in whiteface, singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic. If you're white, burst into a Nation of Islam meeting in blackface, singing Mammy. And, if you're soon to become filthy rich, sit in a room with Anna Nicole Smith's Lawyer, Howard K. Stern.
Attorney Howard K. Stern was Anna Nicole Smith's frequent companion and with good reason. He had only one client. And that one client has claim to an estate valued at $1.6 billion. Smith had been awarded $474 in federal court--later reduced to $89 million, which on appeal, was headed for the Supreme Court when it was ruled the jurisdiction of the federal courts. Allowed another trial, the starlet was expected to receive closer to the half billion dollars when she died.
Who was Johnny on the spot when Anna's 20-year old son, Daniel, died of drug poisoning? Howard K. Stern.
Who was there when Anna Nicole Smith's paramedics discovered her dead at the Seminole Hard Rock Cafe and Hotel? Howard K. Stern.
Whose son died after a brief illness before inheriting his father's $4 billion estate? E. Pierce Marshall, son of Anna Nicole's deceased octogenarian husband 4-times her age, who himself died after 14 months of marriage to the starlet at the age of 89.
Next to an unannounced visit from Dr. Kevorkian, nothing is more sobering than being the person standing between a huge inheritance, and attorney, Howard K. Stern.
So, we have one Mr. J. Howard Marshall II, a Texas oil billionaire and former professor of trusts and estates at Yale Law School, marrying a Maryland Monroe knockoff whose film and TV credits included, The Playboy Video Playmate Calendar, The Final Insult, The Naked Gun, The Hudsucker Proxy, and The Anna Nicole Show -- featuring Anna feeding her dog Prosac and visiting her dentist.
And we have Howard K. Stern. As the NYTimes dryly put it, "Besides Dannielynn (Smith's 5-month old daughter), Ms. Smith is survived by Mr. Stern, a lawyer who said he was the child's father."
I'm certain Howard had nothing to do with any of these tragic events, but the next time I find him in my hospital room, I'm going to jump for joy because it means someone is leaving me a fortune. Then, when he's not looking, I'm jumping out the window.
Anyone wanting to leave this planet early has three great options. If you're black, walk into an Arian Nations meeting in whiteface, singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic. If you're white, burst into a Nation of Islam meeting in blackface, singing Mammy. And, if you're soon to become filthy rich, sit in a room with Anna Nicole Smith's Lawyer, Howard K. Stern.
Attorney Howard K. Stern was Anna Nicole Smith's frequent companion and with good reason. He had only one client. And that one client has claim to an estate valued at $1.6 billion. Smith had been awarded $474 in federal court--later reduced to $89 million, which on appeal, was headed for the Supreme Court when it was ruled the jurisdiction of the federal courts. Allowed another trial, the starlet was expected to receive closer to the half billion dollars when she died.
Who was Johnny on the spot when Anna's 20-year old son, Daniel, died of drug poisoning? Howard K. Stern.
Who was there when Anna Nicole Smith's paramedics discovered her dead at the Seminole Hard Rock Cafe and Hotel? Howard K. Stern.
Whose son died after a brief illness before inheriting his father's $4 billion estate? E. Pierce Marshall, son of Anna Nicole's deceased octogenarian husband 4-times her age, who himself died after 14 months of marriage to the starlet at the age of 89.
Next to an unannounced visit from Dr. Kevorkian, nothing is more sobering than being the person standing between a huge inheritance, and attorney, Howard K. Stern.
So, we have one Mr. J. Howard Marshall II, a Texas oil billionaire and former professor of trusts and estates at Yale Law School, marrying a Maryland Monroe knockoff whose film and TV credits included, The Playboy Video Playmate Calendar, The Final Insult, The Naked Gun, The Hudsucker Proxy, and The Anna Nicole Show -- featuring Anna feeding her dog Prosac and visiting her dentist.
And we have Howard K. Stern. As the NYTimes dryly put it, "Besides Dannielynn (Smith's 5-month old daughter), Ms. Smith is survived by Mr. Stern, a lawyer who said he was the child's father."
I'm certain Howard had nothing to do with any of these tragic events, but the next time I find him in my hospital room, I'm going to jump for joy because it means someone is leaving me a fortune. Then, when he's not looking, I'm jumping out the window.
posted by R. Reynolds at 8:51 AM
11 Comments:
Holy Toledo. PNN gets all the scoops. Talk about shock jock.
"Everybody on stage for the Hawaiian number, please!"
Sorry to hit and run, but you really need a vacation.
I'm out the door.
Get A Thousand Clowns from the library and watch it about 500 times.
As we learned from the Brian Wilson/Eugene Landy relationship, question the motivation any professional who has only one client. Except, of course, Tom Hagen, who served the Corleones so well.
Only PNN smells the fish. You deserve a Pulitzer. LOL.
Rick, Martini is just jealous because you keep getting the scoops while he covers breaking stories like Rachel Carson's 60's bestseller, "Silent Spring."
Mitch
I hope your hospital room is on the ground floor! Another gem.
To Mitch: Click Martini's name for another 60's hit in his excellent Feb. 6 post. He pines for the good old days when Herb Gardner, the playwrite of A Thousand Clowns, had no anger in his satire.
The more conservatives tiptoe away from Bush, the more they cry foul at the angry backlash.
Mitch
To Mitch:
Regarding the plot of A Thousand Clowns, though, his point is well taken. When you fish in troubled waters, you get caught in your own net.
ok, frankly rick, you're losing your edge here. it seems that you are just rehashing the ny times with the astronaut in diapers and the anna nicole story. don't you have any inside info or aother angles to cover on these pieces?
zsa zsa's husband has also tossed his weenie into the ring as the possible father of anna nicole's kid. wonder what zsa zsa has to say about that one!
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