THE COIN OF THE REALM
With President's Day just around the corner, the new presidential coins are making headlines. The dollar coin, billed as the new quarter, will feature all the presidents, starting with George I--and ending with George XLIII, and will be issued at the rate of four a year. Thankfully, we won't have to endure the G.W. Bush coin until the year 2018, when it won't be worth a plugged nickel.
Why do we need a dollar coin? Several reasons. They are harder to fold up in your pocket. They don't rip. No corners to dog-ear. And you can feed the parking meter without ten pounds of quarters in your pockets.
And with more and more commerce taking place in vending machines, the new coins will offer marketers the opportunity to raise price points four fold. Why pay sixteen quarters for a pack of gum, when you can use just four dollar coins?
But are all our president's worthy of coins? As the Times editorial page pointed out today, not all presidents are worthy of Mount Rushmore. You'll never see Fillmore on Rushmore: he signed the Fugitive Slave Act. Franklin Pierce, the drunk, will likely have a bottle debossed on his coin's tails side.
Likewise, the flipside of Warren Harding's heads will feature a tails-side Teapot Dome on the Capitol to remind school children of the scandal. The Depression in one coin will be Herbert Hoover's head. And on Richard Nixon's coin, the words, "I am not a crook" will round out the circle with "E Pluribus Unum."
Ronald Reagan's coin will be made of Styrofoam, and feature a rooster taking credit for the morning. A gap-toothed Ollie North will occupy the B side.
The Clinton coins, a major collectible, will feature Bill Clinton's heads and both Hillary and Monica tails. Known as the "Double Moon" coins, they are expected to sell like hotcakes.
Sadly, in the year 2018, the US Mint will split into two foundries, with one minting an Al Gore coin, and the other, the W token. Looking like an old subway token, the "W" will go all the way through the coin, to signify what is left of the national treasure--and around its circumference will appear the words, "Support Our Troops," to remind Americans the war is still raging.
With President's Day just around the corner, the new presidential coins are making headlines. The dollar coin, billed as the new quarter, will feature all the presidents, starting with George I--and ending with George XLIII, and will be issued at the rate of four a year. Thankfully, we won't have to endure the G.W. Bush coin until the year 2018, when it won't be worth a plugged nickel.
Why do we need a dollar coin? Several reasons. They are harder to fold up in your pocket. They don't rip. No corners to dog-ear. And you can feed the parking meter without ten pounds of quarters in your pockets.
And with more and more commerce taking place in vending machines, the new coins will offer marketers the opportunity to raise price points four fold. Why pay sixteen quarters for a pack of gum, when you can use just four dollar coins?
But are all our president's worthy of coins? As the Times editorial page pointed out today, not all presidents are worthy of Mount Rushmore. You'll never see Fillmore on Rushmore: he signed the Fugitive Slave Act. Franklin Pierce, the drunk, will likely have a bottle debossed on his coin's tails side.
Likewise, the flipside of Warren Harding's heads will feature a tails-side Teapot Dome on the Capitol to remind school children of the scandal. The Depression in one coin will be Herbert Hoover's head. And on Richard Nixon's coin, the words, "I am not a crook" will round out the circle with "E Pluribus Unum."
Ronald Reagan's coin will be made of Styrofoam, and feature a rooster taking credit for the morning. A gap-toothed Ollie North will occupy the B side.
The Clinton coins, a major collectible, will feature Bill Clinton's heads and both Hillary and Monica tails. Known as the "Double Moon" coins, they are expected to sell like hotcakes.
Sadly, in the year 2018, the US Mint will split into two foundries, with one minting an Al Gore coin, and the other, the W token. Looking like an old subway token, the "W" will go all the way through the coin, to signify what is left of the national treasure--and around its circumference will appear the words, "Support Our Troops," to remind Americans the war is still raging.
posted by R. Reynolds at 9:19 AM
6 Comments:
best one yet. thank god pnn is back. double moons. shame on you.
terry
I was laughing all the way to the last paragraph. Now I'm depressed again.
I'll take a roll of Al Gore coins. By 2018, the US Mint will be under water.
PS: Will Cheney ever appear on a coin, or will we have to settle for his image on our bathroom tissue?
You left out the Calvin Collidge coin: Howard Dean's godfather.
incredibly funny.
all jimmy carter coins will be held hostage in iran for about 100 days.
h
no need to fret about the W coins.
the world is slated to end by 2012.
quite frankly, i'm surprised PNN hasn't reported this fact to its viewers.
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