BREAKING NEWS
If any individual should be held accountable for unleashing George W. Bush on the world, it would have to be former House Speaker, Newt Gingrich. As it turns out, while leading the impeachment proceedings against President Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair, he was off enjoying an extramarital affair of his own. That Newt could find the time to impeach the president while servicing both his wife and mistress, approaches Medal of Honor territory.
In an interview with Jame Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, Gingrich acknowledged enjoying chuckle monkey love with a woman other than his wife while presiding over the removal of the Leader of the Free World.
Gringrich told Dobson, ''There are times that I have fallen short of my own standards. There's certainly times when I've fallen short of God's standards. But a finer Republican, you'll never meet.''
Insisting his pursuit of Clinton's infidelity was not hypocrisy, Gringrich concluded:
''The president of the United States got in trouble for committing a felony in front of a sitting federal judge. I drew a line in my mind that said, 'Even though I run the risk of being deeply embarrassed, and even though at a purely personal level I am not rendering judgment on another human being, as a leader of the government trying to uphold the rule of law, I have no choice except to move forward and say that you cannot accept ... perjury in your highest officials.''
Gingrich's steadfast pursuit of President Clinton while pleasuring two women will go down in the annals of history as one of the most selfless acts of lust ever bestowed on a free people. After all, had Gingrich chosen not to judge his fellow sinner, the 100,000 dead from Bush's war might have lived long enough to soil the world with adulterous acts of their own.
If any individual should be held accountable for unleashing George W. Bush on the world, it would have to be former House Speaker, Newt Gingrich. As it turns out, while leading the impeachment proceedings against President Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair, he was off enjoying an extramarital affair of his own. That Newt could find the time to impeach the president while servicing both his wife and mistress, approaches Medal of Honor territory.
In an interview with Jame Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, Gingrich acknowledged enjoying chuckle monkey love with a woman other than his wife while presiding over the removal of the Leader of the Free World.
Gringrich told Dobson, ''There are times that I have fallen short of my own standards. There's certainly times when I've fallen short of God's standards. But a finer Republican, you'll never meet.''
Insisting his pursuit of Clinton's infidelity was not hypocrisy, Gringrich concluded:
''The president of the United States got in trouble for committing a felony in front of a sitting federal judge. I drew a line in my mind that said, 'Even though I run the risk of being deeply embarrassed, and even though at a purely personal level I am not rendering judgment on another human being, as a leader of the government trying to uphold the rule of law, I have no choice except to move forward and say that you cannot accept ... perjury in your highest officials.''
Gingrich's steadfast pursuit of President Clinton while pleasuring two women will go down in the annals of history as one of the most selfless acts of lust ever bestowed on a free people. After all, had Gingrich chosen not to judge his fellow sinner, the 100,000 dead from Bush's war might have lived long enough to soil the world with adulterous acts of their own.
posted by R. Reynolds at 1:07 PM
10 Comments:
Boy, was that quick.
A newt is a salamander, and a salamander is a reptile, and some reptiles are snakes. Newt = snake.
Newt was using his one-eyed trouser snake to his own best advantage.
Glad we've enjoyed yet another climax to the Clinton impeachment story.
r
Gingrich's timeline is a little off. Clinton's so-called perjury was commited as a result of Gringrich's trivial pursuit. There's a word for that. Entrapment. That the entrapper was in bed with more than the judiciary, speaks volumes.
To the first anonymous, I say:
As the Geico Gecko, I'm more than offended when I'm compared with the Newt. Pretty soon you'll be telling me adultery is so easy, a caveman could do it.
Rick: Had those 100,000 Iraqis lived to commit adultery, Islam would have stoned them to death. My hands are clean.
Sorry Newt. They only stone the women. You certainly got your rocks off.
Among the three Republican front-runners — thrice-married former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani; twice-married Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz.; and Gingrich — there are eight current and past wives.
Not that there is anything wrong with that, but if their former husbands are successful, would we then refer to them as the First Ex's?
seems to me that this is just another reason why we need a woman for president. they are clearly more in control of their hormones than you wacky trouser snake owners!
Accusing Newt Gingrich or Al Gore--or any politician--of hypocricy is an exercise in futility. To be a hypocrite one must first have a conscience.
One common trait of all that lust for power is an overwhelming sense of entitlement.
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