Friday, August 04, 2006

PROJECT RUNWAY

No sooner had I heard about the new hit reality TV show, "Project Runway," than I was reminded of Dubya's carrier landing on the USS Abraham Lincoln.

You'll recall that Junior, in a "tear down that wall moment," staged a photo op whereupon it would appear he landed a jet on an aircraft carrier far out at sea.

The carrier turned out to be so close to dock, George could have used a long gangplank and walked aboard. That, and the fact that Bush, suffering from a bout of overconfidence, was forced to man the second seat with the flight stick removed, was of little consequence to Americans. After all, they had voted for Reagan, who lived in movies, and they would have voted for John Wayne, given the chance.

Baghdad had just fallen, and the Prez was jazzed. This was his seminal, bullhorn moment, and he so wanted to look the part.

On Project Runway, fashion designer contestants compete to design a look for a certain category of individual. This was tailor-made for our president.

"Your assignment, ladies and gentlemen, is to design a look for a hapless president, stung by string of economic, political, and policy failures too numerous to mention, and make him appear as the conquering hero of an oppressed people, all to the sounds of a military band playing 'Hail to the Chief' under a 100 foot long 'Mission Accomplished' banner."

Immediately, the fashion designers of hip chic went to work sketkching clothes that would make the Prez look resolute and proactive -- like we had a real dog in the fight.

After many drawings, the results were presented, and low and behold, they all looked alike. In every submission, the president looked like Snoopy, replete with goggles, leather helmet, jumpsuit and white scarf. Wow, we really did have a dog in the fight. And he didn't look goofy like Michael Dukakis in a tank top.

President Snoopy not only looked fierce, but approachable at the same time.

The president liked what he saw. The drawings were perfect. No, he had never fought in anything more hostile than the Arkansas skies, but the troops, and the Christians would love it. "By God, I'll do it," he said.

"Project Runway" was a hit before it's time. Sure, there was no WMD and we had invaded the wrong country. And then there was this nasty, ensuing civil war leaving a tenth of a million people dead.

But, boy did he look good doing it. That was the reality, and we got it all right off our TV.