ANNA AND HER TWO HOWARDS
Anyone wanting to leave this planet early has three great options. If you're black, walk into an Arian Nations meeting in whiteface, singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic. If you're white, burst into a Nation of Islam meeting in blackface, singing Mammy. And, if you're soon to become filthy rich, sit in a room with Anna Nicole Smith's Lawyer, Howard K. Stern.
Attorney Howard K. Stern was Anna Nicole Smith's frequent companion and with good reason. He had only one client. And that one client has claim to an estate valued at $1.6 billion. Smith had been awarded $474 in federal court--later reduced to $89 million, which on appeal, was headed for the Supreme Court when it was ruled the jurisdiction of the federal courts. Allowed another trial, the starlet was expected to receive closer to the half billion dollars when she died.
Who was Johnny on the spot when Anna's 20-year old son, Daniel, died of drug poisoning? Howard K. Stern.
Who was there when Anna Nicole Smith's paramedics discovered her dead at the Seminole Hard Rock Cafe and Hotel? Howard K. Stern.
Whose son died after a brief illness before inheriting his father's $4 billion estate? E. Pierce Marshall, son of Anna Nicole's deceased octogenarian husband 4-times her age, who himself died after 14 months of marriage to the starlet at the age of 89.
Next to an unannounced visit from Dr. Kevorkian, nothing is more sobering than being the person standing between a huge inheritance, and attorney, Howard K. Stern.
So, we have one Mr. J. Howard Marshall II, a Texas oil billionaire and former professor of trusts and estates at Yale Law School, marrying a Maryland Monroe knockoff whose film and TV credits included, The Playboy Video Playmate Calendar, The Final Insult, The Naked Gun, The Hudsucker Proxy, and The Anna Nicole Show -- featuring Anna feeding her dog Prosac and visiting her dentist.
And we have Howard K. Stern. As the NYTimes dryly put it, "Besides Dannielynn (Smith's 5-month old daughter), Ms. Smith is survived by Mr. Stern, a lawyer who said he was the child's father."
I'm certain Howard had nothing to do with any of these tragic events, but the next time I find him in my hospital room, I'm going to jump for joy because it means someone is leaving me a fortune. Then, when he's not looking, I'm jumping out the window.
Anyone wanting to leave this planet early has three great options. If you're black, walk into an Arian Nations meeting in whiteface, singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic. If you're white, burst into a Nation of Islam meeting in blackface, singing Mammy. And, if you're soon to become filthy rich, sit in a room with Anna Nicole Smith's Lawyer, Howard K. Stern.
Attorney Howard K. Stern was Anna Nicole Smith's frequent companion and with good reason. He had only one client. And that one client has claim to an estate valued at $1.6 billion. Smith had been awarded $474 in federal court--later reduced to $89 million, which on appeal, was headed for the Supreme Court when it was ruled the jurisdiction of the federal courts. Allowed another trial, the starlet was expected to receive closer to the half billion dollars when she died.
Who was Johnny on the spot when Anna's 20-year old son, Daniel, died of drug poisoning? Howard K. Stern.
Who was there when Anna Nicole Smith's paramedics discovered her dead at the Seminole Hard Rock Cafe and Hotel? Howard K. Stern.
Whose son died after a brief illness before inheriting his father's $4 billion estate? E. Pierce Marshall, son of Anna Nicole's deceased octogenarian husband 4-times her age, who himself died after 14 months of marriage to the starlet at the age of 89.
Next to an unannounced visit from Dr. Kevorkian, nothing is more sobering than being the person standing between a huge inheritance, and attorney, Howard K. Stern.
So, we have one Mr. J. Howard Marshall II, a Texas oil billionaire and former professor of trusts and estates at Yale Law School, marrying a Maryland Monroe knockoff whose film and TV credits included, The Playboy Video Playmate Calendar, The Final Insult, The Naked Gun, The Hudsucker Proxy, and The Anna Nicole Show -- featuring Anna feeding her dog Prosac and visiting her dentist.
And we have Howard K. Stern. As the NYTimes dryly put it, "Besides Dannielynn (Smith's 5-month old daughter), Ms. Smith is survived by Mr. Stern, a lawyer who said he was the child's father."
I'm certain Howard had nothing to do with any of these tragic events, but the next time I find him in my hospital room, I'm going to jump for joy because it means someone is leaving me a fortune. Then, when he's not looking, I'm jumping out the window.
posted by R. Reynolds at 8:51 AM
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