Thursday, August 24, 2006

IS EARTH REALLY A PLANET?

A debate is raging among Earthlings over whether Pluto should retain its designation as a full-fledged planet, or be downgraded to just another a rocky snowball among many in the outer solar system. Some people feel that including Pluto is a form of affirmative action -- a sort of "no snowball left behind," as Mike Brown, astronomer at Cal Tech quipped.

I don't know about Pluto, but why go so far afield to find objectionable planets? If all a million years of Earthly evolution can achieve is Islamic and Christian nutcases (and the like), I say we cross off our own wonky, wanton, wayward, watery orb from that elite list as well.

If one combs through recorded history, there have only been 19 years in which humans have not killed each other en masse (mostly in religious wars). This can't be much of a planet. We have splendid wars, evil wars, and mistaken wars, but no matter the excuse, we always justify them.

I just love Junior's makeover after invading the wrong country: from bumbling screw-up to angelic missionary of democracy. Why, you can't do that George! You should voluntarily sign up for jail time. Or detention. At least you need to have your hand smacked.

It would be like Adolf trying to convert his concentration camp ovens into Jewish Rye bakeries in 1943 -- and mugging for the Food For Peace program. Does Junior take us for fools? It takes a lot of chutzpah to think you can pull off that stunt.

George arguably made the most criminally negligent mistake in American History. One hundred trainloads of people are dead in Iraq, and we are afraid to sport "Impeach Bush" bumper stickers on our BMWs, Porsches, and Volkswagens for fear they'll get "keyed" by the storm troopers of God. And this is the best country Earth can muster?

Why is there even a conversation going on in America? There's nothing to talk about. Through either stupidity, ineptitude, error, or evil, George W. Bush did irreparable harm to this country during one of it's most trying times (of course, he may have invaded Iraq knowing full well they possessed no WMD, but so far he hasn't confessed to it). In the process, Bush has killed tens of thousands of innocents, while allowing the group that committed the heinous acts of 911 to grow larger and stronger.

At the same time, at no time has an American president been so reviled by the rest of the world. Former friends are now enemies. Former enemies are now emboldened.

Our country's vulnerability to terrorism was never so much about the small possibility of a WMD getting into the hands of a terrorist, as the multitudes of people willing to do us in. There will never be a zero possibility of a terrorist acquiring a WMD. Whatever that number is, it will always be multiplied by the sheer number of belligerents trying to obtain one. While you do your utmost to control the first number, it's the second one that will get you in the end. Multipliers are nasty things; like bad cholesterol, it's the ugly side of the equation.

Since George W. Bush took over, the number of people wanting to do us in has increased to the point where our greatest fear could well become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Dubya needs to step down. The moment he leaves, our security level will improve immeasurably. Then, perhaps, we won't need to ban the Party of Lincoln to ensure that this republic, of the people, for the people and by the people, shall not perish from this Earth.

And while we're on the subject, let's hope Earth doesn't get downgraded from planet to rocky snowball, 'cause we're melting fast.