SWEET-SMELLING, SNEAKY-SNEAKERED, SNIPPING-SNIPERS
Box cutters, and shoes, and perfumes, oh my!
What would we do without our Commander In Chief, the fearless W, saving the United States of America from 19 Boxcutters, 1 Shoer, and 24 Perfumers?
You can't make this stuff up. The world's first and only unopposed thermonuclear power, headed by Georgie Junior, shaking in its boots over box cutters, shoes and perfume bottles.
Well, he didn't save us too well from the Boxcutters. That "failure of the imagination," following unheeded intelligence reports that terrorists would fly airliners into tall buildings, left two cities smoldering.
But Bush did foil the Shoer, and the Perfumers, yes?. No, wait. Tony Blair foiled the Perfumers.
Okay the Shoer. No, not so fast. That was the even dumber Richard Reid trying to light his sneaker in coach before going to the lavatory.
Well, Bush conquered Iraq. Okay, bad example.
No sooner had the Brits foiled this latest attempt to bring America to its knees, than George Bush grabbed his bullhorn and proclaimed, "This just proves that we are at war with all those fascist terrorists who would perfume us. Wait, make that atomize us, right Karl?"
It's the l-e-a-d-e-r-s-h-i-p thing. George is a leader. But does it pass the sniff test?
Of course, the US mainland had never experienced a large-scale attack by foreign terrorists prior to the Vacation President, but never mind. And never mind that no leader in the history of the planet has created more terrorists than W.
It doesn't really matter what terrorists come at us with. After perfume it will be doctored baby formula, and heart attack pills (nitro glycerin). When Bush is your leader, they'll come at you with Q-Tips. Soft measures for soft targets. No doubt, Bush would counter with the Johnson & Johnson defense.
You've got to be either pretty stupid, or pretty evil to empower evil doers wearing shoes, perfumes and box cutters to thermonuclear status. But that is exactly what the Great Enabler has done. Without amplifying terrorist capabilities, George can't be the fearless leader.
It's the price of George being the Wartime President-- and the terrorists know it. Without George's need to coverup his record by ramping up the fear, the terrorists would be reduced to sweet-smelling, sneaky-sneakered, snipper-snipers.
Never has there been a more symbiotic international relationship than that which exists between Junior and the Jihadists. As a result, other than baby formula, there is virtually nothing US passengers can bring on planes anymore. Toothpaste, baby oil and Preparation H are restricted carryon items now. Our planes will be okay, but our hemmorhoids will be flaming out.
Perhaps scariest of all is the new worldwide perception that American might is a myth. The secret had been well-protected until one nuclear numbskull came along and let the genie out of the atomizer.
Box cutters, and shoes, and perfumes, oh my!
What would we do without our Commander In Chief, the fearless W, saving the United States of America from 19 Boxcutters, 1 Shoer, and 24 Perfumers?
You can't make this stuff up. The world's first and only unopposed thermonuclear power, headed by Georgie Junior, shaking in its boots over box cutters, shoes and perfume bottles.
Well, he didn't save us too well from the Boxcutters. That "failure of the imagination," following unheeded intelligence reports that terrorists would fly airliners into tall buildings, left two cities smoldering.
But Bush did foil the Shoer, and the Perfumers, yes?. No, wait. Tony Blair foiled the Perfumers.
Okay the Shoer. No, not so fast. That was the even dumber Richard Reid trying to light his sneaker in coach before going to the lavatory.
Well, Bush conquered Iraq. Okay, bad example.
No sooner had the Brits foiled this latest attempt to bring America to its knees, than George Bush grabbed his bullhorn and proclaimed, "This just proves that we are at war with all those fascist terrorists who would perfume us. Wait, make that atomize us, right Karl?"
It's the l-e-a-d-e-r-s-h-i-p thing. George is a leader. But does it pass the sniff test?
Of course, the US mainland had never experienced a large-scale attack by foreign terrorists prior to the Vacation President, but never mind. And never mind that no leader in the history of the planet has created more terrorists than W.
It doesn't really matter what terrorists come at us with. After perfume it will be doctored baby formula, and heart attack pills (nitro glycerin). When Bush is your leader, they'll come at you with Q-Tips. Soft measures for soft targets. No doubt, Bush would counter with the Johnson & Johnson defense.
You've got to be either pretty stupid, or pretty evil to empower evil doers wearing shoes, perfumes and box cutters to thermonuclear status. But that is exactly what the Great Enabler has done. Without amplifying terrorist capabilities, George can't be the fearless leader.
It's the price of George being the Wartime President-- and the terrorists know it. Without George's need to coverup his record by ramping up the fear, the terrorists would be reduced to sweet-smelling, sneaky-sneakered, snipper-snipers.
Never has there been a more symbiotic international relationship than that which exists between Junior and the Jihadists. As a result, other than baby formula, there is virtually nothing US passengers can bring on planes anymore. Toothpaste, baby oil and Preparation H are restricted carryon items now. Our planes will be okay, but our hemmorhoids will be flaming out.
Perhaps scariest of all is the new worldwide perception that American might is a myth. The secret had been well-protected until one nuclear numbskull came along and let the genie out of the atomizer.
posted by R. Reynolds at 12:30 PM
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